Today, I get to use this blog to honor a friend whose courage and generosity triggered a kidney donation cross-match that changed the course of my life.
Mr. Jeff Derby… aka the living donor writer of this blog.
Jeff entered my orbit around 2008. At the time, I had a housemate/friend, John, who was friends with Jeff. So, when Jeff came over, I was usually around. Over time, I got to know him and his wife. We were already going to the same church, but had never crossed paths. It is a big church, so no surprise there.
Even my cat Bella took to Jeff more than any other guest in ‘her house’. Sure, I was jealous she had a new favorite human, but I would come to know she had the right, strong cat instincts about him.
When Jeff stepped into the kidney donor process shortly after being accepted at UNMC last summer, he did it with strength, a greater purpose, and a willingness to learn everything about kidney disease he could. He learned about the impact dialysis would have on me long-term and what donating involves for those thinking about it.
He did all the due diligence possible by asking questions along his journey, including to his health-profession-filled family. Jeff also involved his family in asking for their support as he continued through all the testing involved, as well as listening to their concerns. And then he did even more research and approached each step of the process with lots of prayer, along with the prayers of others around him.
From his blog post: Why did I choose to donate? Reasoned Response – Part I
“First and foremost I can say I didn’t just wake up one morning and decide I no longer wanted my second kidney. At 12:01 AM on Jan 1st, 2025 this was not my New Year’s resolution and was not on my bucket list. My kidneys are little work-horses, quietly doing their job, never raising a fuss. It wasn’t like the little mooch wasn’t pulling its weight any longer and it became time to right-size the piss department! No, that’s not how I came to this decision. A lot more thoughts and prayer were involved in the process.”
His decision to donate triggered the door to the cross-match that brought Sidney (the kidney) into my life. Because of Jeff and my donor, I am dialysis-free, gaining more energy daily, with a renewed purpose, and I have endless gratitude toward him and my donor.
Jeff has been someone who lifts others. He encourages, he shows up, he gives his time, and leads with faith. Watching him walk through this journey only confirmed what so many (Bella included) already knew. He is the kind of person who makes the world better in meaningful ways.
He’s the kind of guy who, almost 9 years ago, said he’d come over (50-some miles BTW) with his truck and chainsaw to help cut down a tree that split in two on my front lawn before I even had a chance to ask. (But please don’t let him tell you to remind me I may have understated the size of the tree with my photo of it.)
I am grateful for his friendship (even before all this kidney stuff ‘went down’), and for the story we can now share. both in and outside of this blog. I hope his birthday is filled with joy and the knowledge that his generosity continues to shape the lives of others in ways he may never fully see. I pray he receives continued blessings throughout his life.
By the end of October 2025, after both our kidney transplants were complete, his extraordinary decision to donate his “extra” kidney (as he says) helped impact the lives of two people. Jeff doesn’t know the name of the recipient of his kidney, just as I don’t know the donor of mine. For now, those two are unknown.
Happy birthday, Mr. Jeff!
Jeff’s Blog Posts:
Why did I choose to donate?
Blog category: Living Kidney Donor
Blog category: Living Kidney Donor – Journal
Also, about the day Jeff told me he could donate:
Living Donor Match – Answered Prayers (my POV on 9/21/2025)