Finding a kidney donor is a medically driven ‘game’ of “Where’s Waldo’s needle in a haystack.”
In my previous post, “The Hurdles of Kidney Transplant“, I wrote about the overall pre-transplant challenges; this blog post focuses on the search for a donor. A living donor.
A Waiting Game
The search for a living kidney donor feels like chasing possibilities around a track while dragging a dialysis machine on the ground. Each possibility carries hope or heartbreak. It could be a phone call announcing a positive or negative match test result, me noticing that my donor need is being shared, only to be followed by silence, or a conversation with someone considering, but is chock-full of questions and hesitation. Every moment made the impossible search seem within reach. Yet, biology still has its own rules: Blood types, antibodies, and health histories must align perfectly for someone to become a positive match for me.
Long Donor Testing Process
The process begins when someone says, “Yes,” I’ll see if I’m a match. They then fill out a screening form (<- an example), the transplant hospital calls, and the testing begins. Even the potential donor screening process can take months. Transplant centers are thorough because everything depends on the donated kidney working. So, donor testing is rigorous, but necessary.
Why do Living Donors Matter?
Waiting for a deceased donor means years of impatiently being placed on a waitlist, and longer on dialysis. So, even if the transplant call comes at 2 am, these kidneys can carry more complications and shorter lifespans. A living donor is different. The transplant surgery is scheduled, patients are prepared, and both have been thoroughly tested. It offers the best chance for a longer, healthier life. From the beginning, I knew a living donor, though harder to find, was my best option.
Last year, only 23% of kidney transplants came from living donors; thus, the rest of the transplants were from deceased donors. Kidney dialysis can sustain a person’s kidney function for so long. A transplant, from a living donor or not, is the best option. It is still not a cure as complications can arise.
Most people are born with two kidneys, but only need a good functioning one to live normally. Asking someone to donate their “extra” kidney is no small request. It is enormous. (Or, as Buddy the Elf would say, “Ginormous.”). But I asked anyway. I spoke to those who had an open mind and heart, those willing to hear my story.
Spreading the Word
After being accepted by UNMC’s transplant center in April 2025, I initially built ChadBring.com as a place for people to learn about my need, share my story, and consider getting tested. It was my way of making it simple to spread through social media (from my post), conversations, emails, and texts. I had seen T-shirts, QR codes, bumper stickers, and other creative methods for sharing the need. For me, a website was the easiest way to invite advocates to help share my story.
Other organizations offer similar website platforms for sharing the need. The National Kidney Registry provides microsites as well as FindAKidney.com. End the Wait also helps patients share their stories through video. Each tool built is from the notion that spreading the word matters.
Enter the Cross-Match Option
Sometimes, the path to a living donor takes a different yet positive road toward the same destination. A cross-match (aka paired match) allows two patients with willing donors on their side, who have been through the testing, to swap, so each receives a kidney they need. Otherwise, the wait for a match continues. That happened with Jeff and me. Jeff could have donated directly to me, but my cross-match donor turned out to be an even better match in the end.
Try to wrap your head around this multiple cross-match story: “Nebraska Medicine Completes One of the Largest Internal Living-Donor Kidney Transplant Chains in the United States” (9 donors and 9 recipients in 2017). “One selfless act of an anonymous donor impacted the lives of 18 people.”
One Kidney Needed
I never asked people to tell me if they were testing. Even if someone was a match, they might not be ready to proceed, and that was okay. All I needed was one. Of course, the right one.
Still, I heard whispers.
An ex-girlfriend went to see if she was a match. She wasn’t, but her willingness told me that people were considering. My sister told me a friend who wanted to try to see if she was a match. Another said they would test once life settled down. Someone else began the process, but he wasn’t qualified because he didn’t meet certain health requirements. Who knows how many others there were that I haven’t heard about.
Each of these whispers harbored a possibility. Each attempt reminded me I was not alone. And for every person who considered donating their “extra” kidney, I remain forever grateful.
The need for a kidney donor is real: more than 90,000 people (*Transplant waiting list ~ kidneyfund.org) are searching for a kidney donor:
Meet Katie, she is one of them
Related Posts:
The Hurdles of Kidney Transplant
My Living Donor Match – Answered Prayers
The Divine Timing of the Kidney Transplant
Thinking about my Kidney Donor